· healthy lifestyle,Recovery

Hello and welcome to my very first blog! Here’s a little more about me than my little biography reveals. I’d like you to get to know me and either enjoy my blogs, relate to them, or better yet, both.

I am a 19-year-old student and I spend my time studying Event Management at University- which I absolutely love. Among other things such as working a part time job, learning Spanish (slowly but surely!), keeping myself in shape, travelling, playing hockey- or trying to, attending street dance classes, reading lots of books, participating in volunteer work and now maintaining a blog! So as you can already tell, I'm a pretty busy person and the kind of girl who tries to fit the world into a jam jar.

I have set up this website because I absolutely love writing. I studied English Literature from the age of 11 to 18 and I miss it so much. So much to the point where I emailed my university and asked them if I could be a double major in Events and English & American Literature, (apparently that's not a thing like it is in Step Up.) So instead I decided to keep my passion alive by reading lots and taking an internship opportunity with Marbella Rocks Magazine (you’ll hear more about this is my travel section yet to come) where I was able to write articles in my style of writing.

I am excited to be blogging about a number of things that interest me and these are listed under ‘categories’ on my page for you to access each section easily depending on what interests you. I will be blogging about books I have read on a monthly review basis, healthy food and tasty treats I have put together, fitness, events- that I have either worked or attended, places I have travelled and what I have been up to and lifestyle, including my personal journey against battling bulimia.

I have been suffering with bulimia since December 2014 and only in May 2015 did I come to the realisation that it was not a phase but actually quite a serious problem. It started simple, around dinner time at some point in December when I had eaten a large meal- not of the good sort, to my memory it was pizza and chips and I remember looking at myself thinking “wow. I am hideous,” so I paused for a moment staring at myself in the mirror, wondering how and why I had let myself get this bad and the one thought going through my head was “if I just throw it back up quickly then it’s gone and it’s like it never happened.” That was how I used to think two years ago and it’s still how I think now. I still struggle majorly with my food, my body image and how others view my bodily appearance. How others view the way I dress, do my hair or makeup or my personality has never ever bothered me and it never will. However I always feel if I go into a shop and buy something unhealthy as a cheat day treat like a chocolate bar or packet of biscuits, that other people around me are thinking “what a fat shit.” I shouldn’t have to feel like that which is why I chose recovery and why I document my food and physical activity in a book, on instagram and now here. It motivates me to carry on and it reminds me of how well I am doing.

My mental health has also had a huge impact on my confidence. During my first year of college in September 2014, just months before it started, I auditioned for a place in a dance competition called Global Rock Challenge, which I got. I choreographed and performed two pieces; a contemporary piece and a street dance piece and I loved every minute of performing the two, despite my nerves. Then this year at university I auditioned for a competition called Go Hard of Go Home where I had to choreograph to a specified piece of music and perform solo. I went in to my audition and had to attempt it twice due to my nerves getting the better of me and knocking my confidence down. I froze, I forgot my choreography and began to improvise and thought that I must have looked an absolute embarrassment, something that would never have happened to me before. The difference between my confidence two years ago and now is unbelievable so I am doing everything I can to get back to that place I was once in with the help of my friends, family, new therapist sessions, keeping busy and reminding myself that I am a good, healthy and intelligent person who deserves to live boldly.

So, that’s me in a nutshell, welcome once again and here is your invitation to join me on my journey to confidence.

J x

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